THE ETERNAL QUEST FOR SELF-VALIDATION

"When I discover who I am, I'll be free."
-- Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man

I know I am not alone in questioning the reason for my existence and whether I am using my gifts adequately to positively impact the world. I wonder if just living, loving, and doing no harm is enough of a contribution. Or are we meant, during our finite period on earth, to help as many others as possible at the expense of individual pursuits?

In my last blog I discussed the comfort I find in the laws of math and science as they provide absolute answers to complex problems. But recently, I realized another phenomenon that also gives me solace-- one that is essentially the polar opposite of the certainty math provides: The common feeling that questions why are we here, why are we forced to endure certain challenges, and are the challenges fair and even surmountable.

Last month, Poetry Magazine featured a brief synopsis of the life of Khalil Gibran (1883-1931), the renowned Lebanese author regarded as the key figure in the Romantic Movement that transformed Arabic literature in the first half of the twentieth century. His simple and direct literary style was a drastic departure from the rich but rigid style of pre-Islamic poetry and spoke to the experiences and loneliness of Middle Eastern immigrants in the New World. His themes of alienation, disruption, love, betrayal, and lost beauty and security in a modernizing world impressed his readers who considered him a revelation and an inspiration. His reputation as a central figure of Arabic literary modernism is undisputed. The concepts he wrote about were so universally understood, his work was translated into over twenty languages causing his fame and influence to spread far beyond the Middle East.

I have been familiar with Gibran for decades and have always revered his poetry. However, I was unaware he was also a visual artist and considered himself mainly a painter. I also learned that an out-of-print book of twenty of his sketches existed and bought it for my father, also a visual artist. When visiting with my family in Connecticut, I saw the book resting on a coffee table and picked it up to examine the drawings of one of my favorite writers.

Generally in art, themes are implied rather than explicitly stated and are the fundamental ideas explored in a work. They are usually about life, society, and how human nature is affected by external circumstances. I was not only surprised but reassured to see that many of his drawings conveyed the same concepts and imagery I employed in the collages I created while battling cancer-- themes that surmised complex questions through simple, yet powerful, images, like crucifixes, altered body shapes and people carrying heavy weight upon their shoulders. Seeing these similarities validated that all individuals experience similar emotions in times of crisis-- feelings that question the existence of God, why a seemingly unjust sentence has been handed to them, why they are forced to acknowledge mortality in the prime of their life, and why they must suffer physical and psychological trauma for so long. In further examining this subject, I learned the most common themes in visual art and literature include: finding common ground, religion, isolation, the body, conflict and adversity, identity, death, survival, betrayal, and loss of innocence. Realizing these common threads have been the subjects of creative expression since the beginning of time made me feel less alone, more accepting of the unknown, and more comfortable being uncomfortable.

The impulse to create art is universal. It has been a way to communicate beliefs and ideas throughout all stages of civilization in every region of the world. As cultural documents, works of art provide important insights into past and existing cultures that help us understand how others lived, what they valued, and what they experienced.

Humans have forever been trying to find reason for their existence and the circumstances that have fallen upon them but an answer has yet to be found. Perhaps this is why we constantly look for ways to validate and define ourselves by associating with everything from nationalities, religions, and professions to the brands and types of clothing we wear, the sports teams we support, and the vanity license plates we design. In other words, we try to find unity among many.

I have always believed all human experiences at their most basic level are universal despite unique individual circumstances. For example, an indigent woman who has lost a child feels the same sadness, loss and failure a wealthy woman does. Therefore, take comfort in the fact that we are all more alike than different and learning from the unknown provides far more enlightenment than fearing it. After all, John Steinbeck said, "In every bit of honest writing in the world, there is a base theme."